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Being American is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Mexican beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish Kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch
British shows on a Japanese TV. Oh and...... Only in America .. can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance. Only in America .. do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America .. do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke. Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on
in the driveway and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in America .. do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place. Only in America .. is there handicap parking places in front of a
skating rink. NOT TO MENTION...
3 Americans die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Americans were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new
shirts. 58 Americans are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Americans have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the Christmas tree lights were plugged in. 19 Americans have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet. A massive 1543 Americans were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. In 2000 eighty Americans cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
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